Wed, Feb. 8th, 2006, 12:10 pm
Yeah, I've been gone for fucking ever. Kept saying I was coming back for good and never did. Maybe this time will be different.
We're moving to Cleveland, so I've been busy.
Everything is shitty as it always is.
Anyone who used to read my pointless online journal should remember the Anti-Christ...Or " Tina " as some call her, who happens to be my brother's bitch. I looked at her profile today and almost puked:
Name: Sinner and Saint wrapped up into one irresistible woman.
Location: Home is where my sweetheart is :o)
Marital Status: A Nitemare and Dream
Hobbies & Interests: shooting pool, hiking, fencing, astrology, reading, yoga, collecting castles, and spending time with my children
Favorite Gadgets: I've heard it called lots of things, but never a "gadget".
Occupation: domestic goddess
Personal Quote: I don't laugh at you because you are different....I laugh because you think you are different when in reality you're just like everyone else.
" Irresistible " is not one of the many words ANYONE on this planet would use to describe her. Home is not where the "sweetheart" is - in her words, he's the " cock-sucking bastard " that buys her shit.
A while back, my brother had a screen name with "Nightmare" in it (he and Tina met online), yet she can't seem to get the letters right. LEARN HOW TO SPELL YOU DUMB, SPERM-GUTTED, CUM-CHUGGING, DICK-EATING, SPLOOGE-PUKING, BRAINLESS, SPINELESS WASTE OF SPACE!!!!
Another thing, how could she have any interests other than sitting on her fat ass all day vegetating? We're talking about the carpet slurping bitch who leaves the house once a month at most. She's afraid to go anywhere or do anything. Hike? Oh no. Eat donuts! Even talking to her about anything that remotely involves effort or the chance of exercise makes her gain ten pounds. She doesn't spend time with her kids, which is why they spend THEIR time trying to hitch hike to my place or get drugs and alcohol at their neighbor's house because they're fucking bored in West VAGINA and have nothing to do - and their dear sweet whore of a mom won't take them anywhere.
She's never heard it called a "gadget", huh? SHE WOULDN'T FUCKING KNOW ANY SEX SLANDER BECAUSE ACCORDING TO MY BROTHER THEY HAVEN'T SCREWED IN MONTHS! The bitch's well has already run dry and she's giving Kevin blue balls. The only thing she calls it is "ew" or "not now, I'm tired." Tired? YOU JUST SLEPT FOR FIFTEEN HOURS YOU LAZY CUNT!
Domestic goddess? By domestic...Does she mean make the kids and fiance' do all the work? By goddess does she mean listless slob that sits on the couch or in front of the computer all day bitching?
" I don't laugh at you because you're different... I laugh at you because you think you're different but in reality you're just like everyone else. " Real fucking original, slut box. What a good phrase to use, considering it was popularized by a big-name company called "Hottopic" and everyone uses it! This reminds me of all those empty people you find in AOL chatrooms with things like " liv evry day lyke itz ur la$t " written in their profiles.
Tina is a lifeless bum with no future and no friends - but she likes to make people think she's a good human being. She's the reason why I fight to make murder legal every day.
God just wrote down one more reason I'm going to Hell. I think Carolee sent this to me a while ago. Puts a big ole' shit-eating grin on my face.
Tue, Jun. 14th, 2005, 06:45 am
I hate the mall. I HATE IT. Fuck the peppy blond cheerleaders, fuck the teen angst goths, fuck the "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOMGZURAPOSER!!!" punk kids, fuck the smoothie-drinking emos, fuck the old men wearing tank-tops trying to hit on people twenty years younger than them, fuck the gay guys making out in the corner as a "STATEMENT", fuck John boy and his plate of samples, fuck the "ERASE BREAST CANCER FOR GOOD" donation boxes, fuck the horrible dry food, fuck Hot Topic and it's worshipers, fuck Abercrombie and it's tasteless clothing, fuck Wet Seal and the anorexic girls that go there to shop, fuck the popcorn store and it's fifty flavors of shit, fuck the card shop and it's 1337est bastard owners, fuck JCPenny and their boring selection of everything, fuck the Starbucks right in the middle of the mall that serves the "dun label me" goth kids their six dollar frozen coffees and gives them the seats in which they sit to listen to Type-O-Negative while they get off to the pictures of Marilyn Manson in Revolver magazine, fuck FOX 8 news and their waste of space shop, fuck the video game stores that cater to highschool retard dopers, fuck Dillards and the rich people that work there and stick their noses up at you, then realize you are wearing a REAL leather coat and a Gucci suit and worship you at your feet and ask if you need assistance, fuck the woman who work at the Lancome counter and desperately beg you to try their latest over-priced perfume, fuck the escalators and the little kids that run up and down them, fuck the soccer moms that spend all of their time in KB Toys with their bratty kids that don't even deserve to see the light of day, fuck the candy store and the perky bastard that runs it, fuck Hallmark and the religious zealots who hover over the ugly trinkets and stare at you when they think you aren't looking, fuck the pop and candy machines that never work, fuck the sticky floors with bubble gum stuck to them, fuck the cracked ceilings, fuck the random people that say "Hi" to you as you walk by, fuck the aging survey guy attempting to ruin your day with the question " DO YOU USE IRISH SPRING!?!?!?! " when what he really wants to do is scream "IF YOU DON'T ANSWER THIS QUESTION I WON'T GET PAID AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO BUY MY VIAGRA FOR A WEEK!", fuck the business women and their loud clacky high heels that do porno on the side yet act like they are better than everyone else, fuck the body builder men and their twiggy, gross botox-death girlfriends, fuck the mentally disable guy who runs into the nearby walls repeatedly, fuck the people that won't help him. FUCK IT ALL.
Tue, Jun. 7th, 2005, 08:06 pm
Christ. I hate AOL stereotypes. You have your personality-impaired "hot boys/hot chicks" that care about nothing except finding a piece of internet ass - you have your Ebonic retards that replace actual words with things like "dawg,chix, hurr, holla" - then you have your stupid, mindless, Slipknot worshipping goth kids that slit their wrists because they think it's cool - there's the punk shits that have fifteen Good Charlotte posters hanging in their room and constantly call people "posers" out of the blue - then there's the emo bastards that I've dissected numerous times, and lastly you have your horny, aging old men that want to stick their two inch dick in some AOPussy. GOD DAMNIT.
Fuck everyone. I'm just going to sew my twat shut, become a hermit and eat cat food.
Sun, Jun. 5th, 2005, 11:53 pm
Jen: I'm Monopoly.
Me: I'm Clue?
Jen: Yes you are.
Me: " I've got game. "
Jen: LMFAO. That was horrible.
Ryan [9:45 PM]: Saying "Represent Host, represent." is very tempting.
A Sinning Nun [9:45 PM]: Lmao.
Ryan [9:46 PM]: Please, Host God, kick Sweet for scrolling..
Ryan [9:46 PM]: A warning, lame.
A Sinning Nun [9:46 PM]: Lol. Yeah - "dear God, please fucking suspend Sweet" has been running through my mind for the past ten minutes.
Impaledwithstraw [9:47 PM]: Lmao...
A Sinning Nun [9:47 PM]: She's one of those self-proclaimed "enlightened" twelve year olds you always find in these hellacious chatrooms.
Ryan[9:47 PM]: Lol...
Ryan [9:51 PM]: Sweet hasn't been talking since I corrected her enlightened ass... :-X
A Sinning Nun [9:51 PM]: Lol.
A Sinning Nun [9:52 PM]: I was wondering why the Hell she stopped talking.
A Sinning Nun [9:52 PM]: :\
A Sinning Nun [9:52 PM]: May the rays of Heaven shine down on you, Ryan.
A Sinning Nun [9:52 PM]: ( Rrrright. )
Ryan [9:52 PM]: I know...
A Sinning Nun [9:54 PM]: Did you look at Sweet's profile? My IQ dropped just reading the first few lines.
Ryan [9:55 PM]: Lmao...
Ryan [9:55 PM]: Hold up, I'll read it.. :-X
Ryan [9:55 PM]: What's her SN again? :-\
A Sinning Nun [9:56 PM]: Sweet Candies x
Ryan [9:58 PM]: Wow, I think my IQ fell into the negatives reading the whole thing...-_-
Ryan [9:58 PM]: She left the damn room, too...
A Sinning Nun [9:58 PM]: Heh.
Ryan [9:58 PM]: Stupid chicken butted person.
A Sinning Nun [9:58 PM]: Lol.
A Sinning Nun [9:58 PM]: Yep.
Ryan [10:04 PM]: Oh, damn, I'm boned...
Ryan [10:04 PM]: I never meant for it to do that... -_-
A Sinning Nun [10:05 PM]: Lol.
Ryan [10:06 PM]: I'm just very, very fucking surprised that I'm not kicked or suspended.
A Sinning Nun [10:07 PM]: Yeah. The stupid fucking Hosts were probably just like "durrr, oops, my brain stopped working for a second there, oh, it was nothing... " and didn't even think to boot you.
Ryan [10:07 PM]: Lmao...
Ryan [10:19 PM]: I have an awesome idea!
Ryan [10:19 PM]: Let's bitch at the people who run Aol or something!
A Sinning Nun [10:20 PM]: I've been doing that since I first got AOL. The fuckers just don't care. They get-off to the fact their customers hate them.
A Sinning Nun [10:20 PM]: " You hate us? OH YES BABY, OHHH, RIGHT THERE! Ahahaha, burn baby, burn. "
A Sinning Nun [10:21 PM]: AOL is Anti-Christ On Line.
Ryan [10:21 PM]: Lmao...
Ryan [10:24 PM]: Right then... I so wanted to say...
Ryan [10:25 PM]: "But Host, them niggers has got to go."
Ryan [10:25 PM]: -_-, lmao.
A Sinning Nun [10:25 PM]: LMFAO.
A Sinning Nun [10:26 PM]: + Falls out of chair. + That was great, Ryan.
Fuck, with a side of fuck, and more fuck.
Thu, Jun. 2nd, 2005, 01:16 pm
The wonderful world of beauty and perfection has come out with a new item; The Moisturizing Thong. It's nice to know 78% of the female population has a dry, crusty crotch. But all I can think about is how amplified their swamp ass must be if they actually use a moisturizing thong. Scoop-scoop, yum, yum.
Saw the Exorcist for the first time last night. Sexy movie.
Mom: HOLY SHIT THAT POSSESSION GUY IS SCARY LOOKING!
Me: Yeah, I'd fuck him.
Mom: I'm sure you will make me beautiful grandkids.
Me: See, he's basically raping the little girl with the crucifix. I need a guy like that. But is it possible to rape yourself?
Mom: Well, she's possessed so she can't control what she does... So I guess it can be considered rape.
Me: He's kinky.
Tom: Pat, your daughter worries me sometimes.
Sat, May. 28th, 2005, 09:08 am
I have sadly become an online survey addict. It's gotten to the point where I am checking " MySurvey " every half an hour to see if they have posted any new surveys. It's equivalent to becoming a quiz whore, I suppose.
It is now impossible to go into any online chatrooms without running into stuck up, "1337"est fucks that spend most of their time masturbating to Quintin Tarentino movies or talking about their boring, eventless lives on their "Dead Journals", cam whoring their retarded, rectangle-glasses wearing emo faces, or writing SHITTY poetry. Yet somehow these dipshits think they are better than everyone else. THEY CAN SUCK A QUEEF OUT OF MY CROTCH!
Tom has no taste in movies. He came home yesterday with the following movies; Scream, Scream 2, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, Mr.Deeds and 50 First Dates. Then he claimed they were great movies. WRONG. So today ( since everyone already watched the stupid movies last night while I was puking my intestines up ) I get to pick what we get at Ballbuster.
Me [ picking up phone ] : Sperm bank, you whack it we pack it.
My teacher [ coughing ] : Kelley?
What the Hell was she THINKING calling me at such an ungodly hour as nine in the morning?
Tue, May. 24th, 2005, 04:17 am
Just got back from West Vagina after Kevin ( my mindless, hillbilly, over-dominate brother that whacks off to the Mortal Combat movies into a sock that he ends up throwing on the floor for us to trip over ) and I got into a fight over something invalid and pointless.
You see, Brittney my niece wanted to watch Star Wars II, which we had borrowed from their neighbor. Kevin said "no, take it back" because we weren't going to be there the NEXT DAY, because they were going to drive me back up to Ohio. Now, it was about five in the evening and she said she would return it right after we watched it. Kevin claimed we still would not have enough time. I have no fucking clue where his logic came from. So, with a scowl on her face, Brittney took the movie back and got " Meet the Fockers " - a nice, over-reviewed, mainstream piece of shit movie - and Kevin bitched and screamed that he told her not the bring that movie back. He - of course - never said such a thing and there were numerous wittnesses to prove it. Brittney and him got into a huge fight, and I chose to defend Brittney because Kevin wasn't thinking clearly and was starting to piss me off with his illogical accusations. At some point he started slamming things around and tried to frighten me, or at least get me to back down. I didn't, and he got in my face and tried pulling his " I'm badass and you need to follow my pointless rules because I'm God " bullshit. I remember my mother once telling me that when he gets pissed off, he mocks the way Clint Eastwood used to talk in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly because that is what he thought a man should talk like when he was a kid.
While Kevin was still in my face, talking in his Clint Eastwood voice - I couldn't help but picture him in a little cowboy hat with a cigar hanging out of his mouth - and ended up laughing hysterically at this mental image. All of this sent him off the edge and he started punching the walls and whatnot. The girls and my nephew Alaric all started crying and shaking with fear of my ape-like brother. I just stood there looking at him trying to talk some sense into him while comforting my scared-to-death nieces. He just started screaming and telling Tina ( his chick ) to call the cops on me. She of course was on our side, since she too thought he was being stupid.
Well, we decided it was best we all go up to Ohio and leave Kevin behind. Tina didn't have any gas money, so she called up her mother. Her mother is a nosy wench that dosn't even deserve to be in my presence. Tina told her what was going on. Her mother suggested SENDING ME TO A ROOM FOR A FUCKING TIME OUT. I nearly died laughing. Sadly, she was serious, and Tina told her to quit being a mindless bitch. Her mother then asked to speak to me, and Tina said " Oh Hell no, you'll just piss her off even more." After being turned down to talk to me, she asked to talk to Kevin. Kevin said I was no longer welcome there, and finally got the crotch rot to give Tina cash for gas.
Since I was pissed at Kevin and had to get my wet clothes out of the washer - I decided to take a few of his favorite clothing items with me. A petty, useless little revenge - but it made me happy.
Tina told me in the car he was probably just sexually frustrated because she wouldn't fuck him while I was there. Ahahahaha. Serves the bastard right.
But I must say; I'd rather be in West Virginia than Ohio. In Ohio, I get into the habbit of sleeping all day and being up all night just to avoid the annoying inhabitants of this house. I spend my time reading, writing, and wandering the streets of Cleveland. I don't do much different in West Vagina, but the people there are more tolerable than Chris, Meg, Mom and Tom.
I've finally decided to post some pics from the wedding. Note: Only a few people showed up. Caution: Lots of pics.( Read more...Collapse )
Wed, May. 4th, 2005, 02:30 pm
Well, I'm in West Vagina. Kevin actually came to the wedding and decided to take me back with him.
We expected over a hundred and fifty people to come to the wedding and only fifteen people showed. None of Tom's family came and none of his friends. It was depressing. But the ceremony was beautiful - even though I had to wear this obnoxious, ugly black dress and had to put fLoWeRs in my hair. I looked horrible. Should have some pics of it posted sometime this week. :\
Sat, Apr. 23rd, 2005, 03:09 pm
Mom keeps taking out her frustrations out on me and it's worse than usual because her wedding is next weekend. I don't even have my dress yet. I told her I'll just wear one of my trench coats so afterwards I can get drunk and run around flashing people. She said that would be ok.
Tom works at this one telemarketing place now. There's this sexy guy there named Chris - Tom invited him to the wedding. I'm going to be in a constant state of horniness all next weekend. :x God, we have so much shit to do.
Someone just fucking SHOOT ME.